Family Relationship Tips

Family Traditions are Important.

We’re not talking about Christmas traditions, although those are wonderful memory making experiences.  We’re talking about the real day-to-day family traditions that keep a family happy, strong, and together.

Family Tradition Tips:

  1. Keep daily traditions simple.
  2. Try something traditional like having dinner together at least 5 nights a week.
  3. Try something new, like a joke-a-thon while you’re cleaning the kitchen together.  (Take turns telling jokes and see who knows the most jokes.)
  4. Just because something is already a tradition, isn’t a good enough reason to continue it.  It needs to have happy by-products to be continued.
  5. Stick to your guns long enough to see results.  Children don’t want to do some things like early morning scripture study sometimes- but in the long run, if you stick to your guns, it will turn out to be a good tradition and they will thank you later.

Make your spouse feel like a King –  Greet Him in a Positive Way:

Receiving your spouse home in a positive way is super important.  When he comes home from work, take a moment to “step into his shoes” and realize that he has been out in the world all day trying to earn a living for you.  Often it’s been stressful, he’s tired, and he wants a little appreciation and some rest.

Put a smile on your face and greet him at the door with a kiss.

Even if you have had a terrible day and you are exhausted too, you can fake it for 5 minutes.  Ask him how his day was.  When you choose to be happy for at least 5 minutes it colors the rest of your night in a happier tone.

If you whine and complain the second he steps through the door he will probably reciprocate the negativity all night long.  He will feel like he lives with a witch, not his wife!  Treat him like a King and he will probably treat you like a queen!

Try to pace yourself so that you are not exhausted too.  How do you pace yourself?

Story of the Miner

There once was a miner who wanted to work all 3 shifts at the mine, the morning, afternoon, and evening shift, so he could earn extra money.  The boss wouldn’t allow it.  The boss knew his employees were more effective and efficient if they only worked 2 shifts a day.

Likewise, many women want to work 3 shifts a day.  It’s wisest to work only 2 shifts a day.  You need to rejuvenate during your off shift.

What does that look like?

If you have children in school, then you need to help them in the morning and after school so you could get your daily chores done and then take off a few hours during the daytime from 10-3 pm to nap, read, exercise, etc.

Career Mom Tips:

What if you have a career, you are exhausted so you feel like you don’t have energy for your spouse?

  1. Simplify, simplify, simplify.
  2. Make simple dinners – dinners help unite the family.  Statistics show that families that have dinner together decrease the chance of drug addictions significantly, because they know that someone cares.
  3. Pace yourself – do your hardest work in the morning hours and your more restful career work in the afternoon hours.
  4. Do something to rejuvenate yourself while you drive home from work.
  5. Ask for help – children can do a lot more than we think they can.  Could they make dinner?
  6. “Fake it, ’til you make it.”  Fake a smile if you have to, because your family is your highest priority and you want to treat them the best.
  7. Figure out what’s really important to your husband – not what you want, what he wants.  Is it dinner, a happy wife, a perfectly cleaned house?  He might not care as much about the perfectly decorated and clean home, and care more about a warm dinner.  Figure out what he really wants and then grant him his wish.  He will understand that he is a high priority to you.  A great book to read to understand this concept is the Five Love Languages by Gary D. Chapman.

Create Daily Love Rituals:  Daily Traditions

You are responsible for your own loving feelings toward your spouse.

A marriage is like a tree.  It needs water, sunlight, and nutrients everyday.  Just because the tree looks strong, doesn’t mean it will stay strong forever.  If it doesn’t get watered it will eventually die.

Create a daily love ritual such as a walk, a talk, couch time, a cup of cocoa together that you both enjoy so you are nurturing your marriage daily.  Read the amazing short book Take Back Your Marriage:  Sticking Together in a World that Pulls Us Apart by William J. Doherty to learn more about creating daily love traditions.  We live in such a fast paced world that changes so quickly that people can fall out of love if they don’t keep doing the little things – like daily love rituals that water your “marriage tree.”

You can create daily love rituals with your children too, such as eating dinner or breakfast together, family prayer, singing, laughing together, or my favorite working together.  Working together is great because so much of the work in the home is so mundane that the children really open up and communicate while you’re working together.  Even a simple “I love you” everyday is a daily tradition that will nurture your relationships.  For more information read The Intentional Family: Simple Rituals to Strengthen Family Ties by William J. Doherty.

Take a Date Night:

Date your spouse once a week.  Children feel happy and stable when they’re parents have a good relationship.  You’ve got to keep your romance alive.  Try to keep the date positive.  Try to NOT discuss too many children or financial challenges on your date.  Rekindle the flame.

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